TRADITIONS

 

There are many rich and varied traditions that are brought to a wedding to bring meaning to this sacred ritual. From the bride's family may come something passed down from the ‘olde countree’... from the groom’s family may come a purely sentimental tradition from the new world. Now it becomes part of this wedding memory as well.

Each of these rituals can symbolize many things to many couples. Feel free to make any of these your own by adding or changing elements so that it speaks more directly to your experience, ethnicity or philosophy. I am happy to help you personalize a traditional ceremony element, or create a brand new one!

 

FAMILY ARCHEOLOGY / SAND CEREMONY

 

Using a large, glass vase or bowl and smaller vials of colored sand, a many-layered decorative piece can be created during the ceremony that will give many years of memories. This is especially nice for ceremonies with children or relatives who’d like to participate but are shy of speaking in public!

 Sand ceremony – Part 1 – The Family is assembled

The ritual of the sand symbolizes the coming together of two into one; two hearts, two lives, two families! Today we celebrate the importance of family in the unfolding of all life by creating a family archeology... Will the (grand)mothers please come forward to lay the first layer of sand…mothers, fathers, siblings, etc. (Use as many family members as you like for this.)

 Sand ceremony – Part 2 – The Couple add their sand

Life is beautiful. Time is brief. As the sands of time remind us of how precious each passing day is and how important it is to fill those days with love, we invite you to pour the sands of time into the glass as a reminder of your lives that are now intertwined in the great history of love and family. Before, you were separate beings with separate lives. Now the miracle of love brings two separate lives together creating a new and beautiful life. Will the bride and groom each pour their sand, representing their individual lives….

 Sand ceremony – Part 3 – The layers are sealed with love

Although the color of your own soul shines on, radiant and pure, today we celebrate the mystery of the third color which is your lives conjoined by love. Let these grains of sand now joined together, never be spilled asunder. (bride and groom pour the rest of their sand in together creating a new color. Minister may add a final layer on top with a blessing.) 

 

COIN CEREMONY

 

This ritual has many variants from different countries. Sometimes it is the parents offering coins to the new couple, or the couple offering them to each other. Another variation has the coins being passed through the guests to receive their blessing. The coins can be blessed by the minister prior to being used in the ceremony.

 

Officiant:  The coins symbolize a pledge to care for one another.  The groom gives 13 coins to the bride, symbolizing his ability to support and care for her.  It is a complete and unrestricted offering of his dedication for her welfare and their welfare as husband and wife.  In return, the bride gives the coins back to the groom, symbolizing her partnership in supporting and caring for him, as well. (As reader is reading, coin bearer, stands up and walks to the center aisle with coins.  Groom walks over to meet him/her and takes the coins.  Groom then walks and gives coins to Bride, dropping them slowly in her hands.)

 

Officiant:  Groom, please repeat after me:

“Bride, I offer these coins as a pledge of my dedication to you, the care of our home and the welfare of our family.”  (Bride pauses momentarily, and then places her hands on Groom's, letting the coins fall into his hands.)

 

Officiant:  Bride, please repeat after me: 

“Groom, I offer these coins as a pledge of my dedication to you, the care of our home and the welfare of our family.” 

(Groom then returns them to the Bride, who hands them to the Maid of Honor.  Then Bride and Groom face the Officiant.)

 

Officiant:  Lord, bless Bride and Groom with sufficient material possessions and abundant spiritual strength, which these coins symbolize.  May they use your gifts wisely for their family’s welfare in their married life.  Amen

 

 
A more engaging version has each coin representing some virtue that the couple wants to add to their marriage. Twelve coins are distributed to family and friends prior to the start of the ceremony. As each family member brings up a coin in its container, Rev. Rebecca names one of the virtues associated with that family, one for each coin: honor, generosity, patience, courage, prosperity, diligence... When all the coins have been collected, Rev. Rebecca adds the thirteenth coin with a special message for the bride and groom.

 

A variation that I created for a couple getting married by Buckingham Fountain, was to tape a small coin on each of the wedding programs. At the end of the ceremony, I invited all the guests to make a wish for the new couple, take their coin from the program and go forward to throw their penny into the fountain. Everyone agreed this was great fun!

 

  

 LOVE IS A GARDEN  The Family (and/or Guests) Blessing: Rebecca introduces the image of the garden, where every flower might be a different color and shape, but all add to the glorious beauty of the garden – then compares that to the human family where each person is completely different and therefore beautiful and necessary for the whole. She then asks for the first person to add their flower to the vase.  Each guest present says a few words and adds a flower to the vase. The Blessing for the Family: When everyone has added their flower, Rebecca holds up a tiny rose in a sprig of baby’s breath and asks everyone to take hands and make a silent blessing while she offers a spoken blessing for the new family coming into existence because of this marriage. The flower is then added to the bouquet. 

 

MARRIAGE OF MUSICAL SOULS ~ A WEDDING RITUAL

 

Bride and Groom sit, facing each other. Behind each of them stands (sits) a musician. [If using the Bach Cantata, perhaps the first violinist and the cellist.] The Bride and Groom take turns speaking the words from Kahlil Gibran on the meaning of marriage and the musicians offer a “musical echo” to the words. These musical phrases (approximately 30 seconds long) appear to be separate melodies; the finale reveals that they are actually fit together in beautiful counterpoint. [Bach is especially good for this, but other composers work as well.]

 

GROOM: Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

BRIDE: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

VIOLIN: (plays part A of soprano melody)

 

BRIDE: Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

GROOM: Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

CELLO:  (plays part A of tenor melody)

 

 

GROOM: Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

BRIDE: Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

VIOLIN: (plays part B of soprano melody)

 

 

BRIDE:. Stand together, yet not too near together:

GROOM: For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

CELLO:  (plays part B of tenor melody)

 

 

GROOM: Let there be spaces in your togetherness,

BRIDE: And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

TOGETHER: Love one another, but make not a bond of love.

TWO INSTRUMENTS PLAY TOGETHER THE FULL SECTION

 (play parts A and B)