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 GREEN ~ OR PAGAN ~ WEDDINGS
Finding the Sacred in Nature
Many couples who call themselves “spiritual but not religious” feel drawn to Nature as best exemplifying that force or power that has a deep resonance in their life. For them, Nature’s laws hold a truth that is more vital than the dogmas created by men and passed down by the churches. Very often, these people also hold to attitudes of respect towards nature that are called ecological or “Green” in everyday parlance, or Pagan or neopagan, to use religious language. If you feel that you are such a person, then having a wedding which reflects your kinship with the natural world may be just right.
There has been an upsurge in serious attention given to the ancient practices of Wicca and Paganism. The word, pagan, comes from a Latin term that simply meant “people of the land” and referred to those who lived outside the walls of the city. People of the land often held to ancient traditions that honored the seasons and the special places in the landscape, far longer than the urbanites who tended to ignore the ancient rites and prefer the glory and comforts of the temples. Wicca comes from the Old English word meaning shaman – a shaman being a wise elder with powers of healing and divination. It is not at all necessary to subscribe to these more formal belief systems in order to enjoy a Green Wedding, but most Pagans and Wiccans will choose a Green Wedding because of its close association to many of their worldviews.
Ideally, a Green or Pagan Wedding will be held out-of-doors where Nature in her glory can be appreciated. If this is not possible (due to weather or climate conditions) then tokens of Nature’s beauty – water, fire, earth, greenery, and flowers – can adorn the space.
The element most associated with a nature-based wedding is the drawing of natural images and rhythms as metaphors appropriate for a marriage. To speak of “the seasons of love,” for instance, acknowledges the ebb and flow of emotions. To draw attention to the four directions and the passage of the sun across the sky reminds us of the life span of the human and mortality that all living things share. The frequency of circles in Green Weddings indicates the understanding that Nature is always cycling and recycling and that patterns will repeat themselves. Asking for and offering blessings to the earth is a humble affirmation of the interconnectedness of all things, including human beings and their environment.
Even if you are having a fairly traditional church wedding, you may wish to incorporate elements of a Green Wedding to honor your own sense of connection to the earth, or simply to celebrate your love and enjoyment of the out-of-doors. Whatever your motivation, I hope you will enjoy reading this example of a Green Wedding!
~ Rev. Rebecca
The Setting: A table has been laid out before the ceremony begins to hold the ritual objects for the ceremony: a goblet for the couple to drink from; a plate with bread; a bottle of fine wine; a vessel for the libation to the earth; a bowl of water; a bowl of earth; white candles; the rings; cloth for the Handfasting, a dish of salt, a brass altar bell.
Gathering: Live music plays as the minister and the groomsmen assemble in circle under the trees. The minister rings the bell and all turn to watch the entrance of the bride who comes veiled and attended by her bridesmaids. They throw petals as they walk in and take their place in the circle.
Setting Sacred Space - Rebecca cleanses the space by scattering salt around the circle, then she splashes drops of water around the circle and invites the groomsmen and bridesmaids to come up and lay a long garland of flowers around the bridal couple. She speaks to love:
The Bride and Groom:
Love and honor them - Together they are life and death,
Darkness and light, - Joy and sorrow, - Order and Chaos.
They are summer and winter, Spring and fall.
They are growth and decay, Youth and age, Night and day, Female and male.
Wherever one walks, The other will be not far behind.
This is the way of things.
Invocation of the Directions: In many cultures it is believed that the human soul shares characteristics with all things divine. It is this belief which assigned virtues to the four cardinal directions; East, South, West, and North. In this tradition we invoke the energies of the four winds.
(Invocation of the Directions - Rev. Rebecca indicates to everyone to turn and face a particular direction each time as she speaks:) These are the directions of love: The sacred east ~ where the flaming sun arises Let your love be a light and inspiration to yourselves and to the world May all your mornings be blessed with love. The sacred south ~ where the earth offers her abundance Let your love support our planting and harvesting, both as individuals and as a couple May all your days be blessed with love. The sacred west ~ where the noble sun sets Let your love be a comfort to all your disappointments, a mirror to all your hopes,May all your nights be blessed with love.
The sacred north ~ where the soul's compass finds its home
Let your love be a guide to your passions and powers
and your progress in the world
May all your years be blessed with love.
These are the sacred directions of love -
may you be held within their center -
Now and for the rest of your life together.
Honoring the Ancestors:
(Bride and Groom walk to the table and place flowers in a small vase while Rebecca says)
When two people come together to form another ring around the Tree of Life, it is right and good that they should give thanks to those who came before them -- those dearly present and those dearly departed whose blessings they seek and whose gifts they acknowledge. Today, we give honor to _______________ and _____________, who, although they are not with us in the flesh, are certainly here in spirit to celebrate this communion of love.
Invocation to Marriage:
You who would be husband and wife, listen to what is said here and now, in this sacred space that by your love you have created, a space that is not a space, a time that is not a time, for this moment has never existed before and it shall never exist again.
To marry is to form an equal partnership, tied together by bonds of emotion and love. It is at once the most fragile of relationships and the strongest. Fragile because it requires exactly the right mix of freedom and interdependence, of caring and of sharing, of being together and of being alone.
But it is strong because it involves the unseen forces of something we usually call love -- mutual devotion, concern for the happiness of the other, joy in each other's company. For there is no stronger force involving human relationships than this bond of love.
Remember that this wedding is only a symbol, a celebration, a public recognition of what already exists in the silent places of your hearts. It is your marriage and not something created by the state or the church -- it is yours to define, yours to make real, yours to live. Nothing I can say can make it anything more than what already exists in your hearts.
The Image: R calls upon the mothers (or other friends) to bring up the goblet.
Offering Chalice to couple to drink from.
"This is your first drink together as husband and wife. May you never thirst."
Offering Bread to couple to eat from.
"This is your first food together as husband and wife. May you never hunger."
"And now please drink to the love you've shared in the past."
(The couple sip from the cup)
"Drink to your love in the present, on this your wedding day."
(The couple sip from the cup)
"And drink to your love in the future and forever more."
(The couple sip from the cup)
Rebecca's Reflection to the Couple
Exchange of Rings:
Vows & Handfasting: "With this binding I tie you, heart to heart, together as one. With this knot you are joined in sacred union. May the Lord and Lady smile upon thee, and bless you with health and prosperity!"
“The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union and will cross the years and lives of each soul’s growth.”
“Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?”
(say, “Yes.”)
“ I bid you look into each others eyes and join hands.”
“Will you honor and respect one another, and seek to never break that honor?”
(say, “We will.”) (The first binding is draped over the couple’s hands.)
“And so the binding is made.”
“will you cause her pain?”
(says, “I may.”)
“Is that your intent?”
(says, “No.”)
“ will you cause him pain?”
(says, “I may.”)
“Is that your intent?”
(says, “No.”)
“Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?”
(say, “We will.”) (The second binding is draped over the couple’s hands.)
“And so the binding is made.”
“Will you share the burdens of each other so that your spirits may grow in this union?”
(say, “We will.”) (The third binding is draped over the couple’s hands.)
“And so the binding is made.”
“Will you share each other’s laughter, and look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?”
(say, “We will.”) (The fourth binding is draped over the couple’s hands.)
“And so the binding is made.”
“will you cause him anger?”
(says, “I may.”)
“Is that your intent?”
(says, “No.”)
“will you cause her anger?”
(says, “I may.”)
“Is that your intent?”
(says, “No.”)
(To both:)
“Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?”
(say, “We will.”) (The fifth binding is draped over the couple’s hands.)
“And so the binding is made.”
“Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?”
(say, “We will.”) (The sixth binding is draped over the couple’s hands.)
“And so the binding is made.”
“ As your hands are bound together now,
So your lives and spirits are joined in a union of love and trust.
Above you are the stars and below you is the earth.
Like the stars, your love should be a constant source of light,
And like the earth, a firm foundation from which to grow.”
Libation to Nature: The couple, holding their glasses in their left hands, pours a libation while Minister says:
Thank all the powers of heaven, earth and sea. Thank all the creatures of this world.
Benediction ~ Rebecca asks all the guests to share a silent blessing, then says:
By seed and root, by bud and stem,
By leaf and flower and fruit,
By my hand, my heart and my spirit.
By life and by love,
I pronounce you husband and wife!
You May Kiss!
Jumping the Broomstick ~ Music begins; Bride and groom, with bindings still on their hands, exit by 'jumping the broomstick' (in which the couple leap hand in hand over a broom held horizontally before them, thus crossing the symbolic boundary between their old lives and their new, shared, one.) Bridal party tosses petals and then follows as guests, taking their cue, toss petals. Rebecca invites the guests "to join the wedding party for a wedding toast!"
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Resources for a Green Wedding:
Invitations:
Of The Earth
http://www.custompaper.com/Shop/Earth_Friendly/eco/eco_wedding.html
Green Field Paper Co. Their Hemp Heritage paper
Flowers:
OrganicBouquet.com is the Internet's first eco-florist. Our mission is to provide you and your loved ones with high quality flowers that are safe for farm workers and the Earth.
http://www.organicbouquet.com/
Rings:
Welcome to greenKarat.com Ecologically Responsible Jewelry A Marriage of Values
http://www.greenkarat.com/
True North Gems stones come from the cold spots. Their North Yukon emeralds and Baffin Island sapphires represent a new option for those seeking truly conflict-free stones.
http://www.truenorthgems.com/s/Home.asp
every Diamonds for Humanity sale supports health, education and land reclamation programs in collaboration with the International League for Human Rights, the Africa-America Instiute and other nongovernmental organizations
http://www.diamondsforhumanity.com/
Gifts:
The I Do Foundation's innovative charitable giving programs
http://www.idofoundation.org/
National Arbor Day Foundation
Your wedding guests can help the National Arbor Day Foundation in its efforts to replant lost national forest land. You can plant a tree for $1 in your guest's name.
www.Arborday.org or (402) 474-5655
Bridal Gown:
Get Conscious Clothing - hemp wedding gowns and bridesmaids' dresses.
http://www.getconscious.com/
General Philosophy:
Green Weddings with Carol Reed Jones
This online resource provides lots of eco wedding tips, such as using organically grown, local flowers for your bouquet and centerpieces, or printing your invitations on recycled paper.
www.ecolivingcenter.com/greenweddings/
Organic Weddings
From hemp-silk gowns to earth-friendly invitations, from eco-tourism honeymoons to nature-inspired quotes for your vows, the Organic Weddings website is a great resource for planning your "green wedding."
www.organicweddings.com
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