A year after I met my future husband, I had a dream in which I was teaching a class called “The New Rituals of Love and Romance.” On the blackboard was a diagram indicating the proper arrangement for a wedding ceremony. Fascinated by the specificity of the diagram and its meaning, I decided that if I ever got married again, I would create the ceremony in the manner dictated by the dream. 

The wedding takes place in three circles with the bride and groom occupying the point at the top where each of the three circles meet. This point must be at true north, and is “the point of power” at which the “love energies from the cosmos enter into circulation of the earth plane.” (Note: After some Googling, I discovered that in geometry, this intersection of circles is called the Feuerbach Point.)  The innermost circle is for the children of the families attending the wedding; the second circle is for the community of extended family, and the third circle for the friends in the wider world.


The Players or Voices represent significant archetypes in the life of the community: the Initiator, the Child, The Wise Old Man & Woman, etc. (see ceremony detail). At the end of the ceremony, in order to send the love energies out beyond the immediate circle of family and friends, the bride and groom offer a First Gift to a person called The Beloved Stranger, who must be someone known neither to the bride nor the groom, and who represents all the unknown ones that may come into their lives in the future.

Part One ~ Wedding Bagpipe Fanfare & Welcome from the Four Directions

Part Two ~ Voice of the Initiator (person responsible for the meeting of the bride and groom)


Part Three ~ Voice of the Child


Part Four ~ Voice of the Poet


Part Five ~ Voice of Wise Old Man & Wise Old Woman.


Part Six ~ Voice of Love


Part Seven ~ Voice of the Bride & Groom (the vows are given here to each other)


Part Eight ~ The Benediction (given by a friend who is also a minister)

 
Part Nine ~ Blessing of the Beloved Stranger (bride & groom greet and offer gift)

 

The ceremony seemed to be a curious blend of Quaker, Celtic and Medieval Occult elements which appealed to me very much. It turned out to be a dramatic and deeply moving experience for all one hundred or so guests who attended. Beginning with an hour of group singing – from Bach to Beatles, gospel songs, sacred harp. pop and rock – the start of the ceremony was announced by my sister on the great highland bagpipes. (Yes, she is an expert musician, so this was a tuneful opening! In fact, my new husband is a professional musicisn and we wrote the music for the fanfare and the closing anthem.)

 

The Beloved Stranger was, by far, the most exciting innovation of this ceremony. Everyone commented on the powerful message of love that it sent forth. I had asked a friend who has known me since grade school to select someone to play the role of the Beloved Stranger and she chose a beautiful woman with flowing white hair and a huge smile who came in from Florida to play her part. We had purchased orchid leis from Hawaii to be the gift to the Stranger, and she looked stunning with the bright pink and deep crimson blossoms haloing her face!

 

Another innovation which I enjoyed was the Bridal Reception Pavilion (in this case, a 10x12 screened tent decorated for the occasion.) After the ceremony, the two of us were ushered into the Pavilion where a pillow-laden couch and several easy chairs had been set up. We were brought food and drink and then friends took turns coming into the tent to speak with us – the intimacy of the space immediately encouraged more intimate conversation – while other friends stood outside to serenade us with musical offerings. It was the loveliest afternoon I’ve ever had!



 

Kathy Cowan and Francis Lynch serenading the bride and groom in tent at right (not visible.)

If you would like to create something this unique and meaningful for yourself, please give me a call. I LOVE helping couples to find just the right words and images to signify their love!

Rev. Rebecca and new husband, Max, clowning around on their honeymoon in Europe!

Rev. Rebecca Armstrong     ceremonies@aol.com       847-707-1781